This story is part of our 'Funny Spa Stories' series, featuring tales from luxury hotel guests which were sent in for our travel writing competition.
Photo by Networker.
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“Walt Disney World” typically elicits images of children and Mickey Mouse, but what most people don’t realize is that the sprawling central Florida resort is a playground for adults as well, boasting no fewer than four luxury spas.
Enveloped in a fluffy white robe, I sat in the meditation lounge of one of these spas, sipping water infused with fresh lemon slices and glancing down occasionally to admire my freshly polished toenails.
Months earlier I had made an appointment for some post-5K reflexology, but hadn’t had time to get a pre-vacation pedicure. Between that and the rigours of running, my feet were a mess. Luckily, the staff had been able to accommodate me with a last-minute pedicure. Although it cost twice what I would have paid at home, when a handsome therapist came to collect me I was glad my feet were neat and pretty!
He led me to a candle-lit treatment room and asked if I had ever had reflexology. Indeed, I had. A therapist at my health club gave foot treatments that were pure heaven.
"I may do it a bit differently," he warned. "Some guests think I have a firm touch, but you’ll get the most benefit that way."
(Cue ominous music).
REFLEXOLOGY: Based on the ancient Egyptian tradition that energy zones run throughout and correspond to all of your body’s major organ systems, this treatment is performed entirely on the feet using a pressure point technique. Reflexology induces deep relaxation and improves circulation.
I stretched out on my back and settled into a comfortable position. He wrapped my feet in a warm, moist towel. Ambient music played softly and the room smelled faintly of lavender and vanilla. I closed my eyes, anticipating a delicious foot massage. "Brutus" had other ideas.
Grasping one foot tightly, he pulled my big toe upward and pressed a thumb into the ball of my foot. I winced.
"That’s a little uncomfortable," I said, tentatively. He was unmoved.
"You’ll appreciate this later; it produces deep relaxation."
"Well, don’t relax me too much," I laughed. "My husband and I have tickets for Cirque du Soleil tonight; I don’t want to fall asleep during the show!"
His response: more toe pulling and thumb gouging. "Ow!" I blurted in surprise.
He moved his thumb slightly and pressed even harder. I sat up on my elbows and glared at him. With a solemn expression he pronounced, "There’s a lot of tension in your uterus."
My uterus? Have I mentioned that it was that time of the month?
Normally I wouldn’t dream of sharing this with a stranger, but it was no time for modesty. Through gritted teeth, I enlightened him, adding, "Please move away from the uterus before I kick you in the face!"
He eyed me nervously. "And... we’re moving on!" he said.
I lay back and sighed, deeply regretting that I had not chosen a detoxifying body wrap. For this sadist I spent $50 on a pedicure. I should have left my feet nasty.
