A millionaire's lifestyles for buttons

by Neil Molyneux

This story is part of our 'Funniest hotel experiences' series, featuring tales from luxury hotel guests which were sent in for our recent travel writing competition. Photo by U-g-g-b-o-y.


My funniest hotel experience was in Geneva at The Hotel De La Paix. I won two nights' stay in a five star luxury suite overlooking the Jet D’eau worth, £1700 a night. I was unfortunate enough to lose my luggage on the way to Geneva leaving me with only the clothes I was standing in.

On arriving in Geneva I headed straight to the local H&M shop with money being on the tight side. Once kitted out my partner and I headed on to the hotel stopping off at a local wine merchants for a couple of bottles of wine to celebrate actually arriving. I put the two bottles of wine in my H&M carrier bag and proceeded towards the hotel.

Walking in through the front doors I placed my H&M bag stuffed with wine on the floor allowing just a little clanging of the bottles. The receptionist then thrust upon us two smouldering hot wet towels; looking at one another deciding what they were for we opted to leave them well alone. The receptionist then looked at our booking on the computer and looked decidedly puzzled as to why we were staying there free of charge.

Once the formalities had been done she called over the bell hop who immediately tried to grab my carrier bag. I resisted but he was too persistent.

He picked it up and with a smirk on his face then picked my partners case up and marched towards the lift. I was doing all I could to stop laughing whilst we were merrily clanging away along the corridor en route to the magnificent suite that was going to appear behind a beautiful oak door.

Thrusting the door open, the bell hop was unsure how to place the “luggage” on the floor so I put him out of his misery right away. He just glanced at us pointed to the fresh fruit on the table, the Jet D’eau outside and five Swiss francs later he was gone.

So we settled down, had a wine and stood out on the balcony above the Royal Family of Monaco’s Suite and admired the magnificent view before us. A millionaire’s lifestyle for buttons.

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