Like a tiger (off the green)

by Maria Menezes

This story is part of our 'Embarrassing Golf Stories' series, featuring tales from luxury hotel guests which were sent in for our travel writing competition.

photo by Keith Allison.

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It all began when a senior manager took the team away on a retreat to help build team spirit. The resort was a few miles out of the city, tucked away in a semi-rural area. There was not much to do or see in the surrounding neighbourhood, so the team mostly stayed indoors. The hotel staff went out of their way to entertain our group and laid out the most delightful food and drink and brought out board games, but the group was soon, well, bored.

Finally, on the last evening, the boss, a golf enthusiast, decided to have a team game of golf. The team dutifully and somewhat reluctantly lined up, as most were keen to go back to the bar indoors. However, the man would not give up and insisted that they finish the game which lasted longer than it should. The task was easy – we all needed to get the ball into all the holes in the golf course. Needless to say, he was the first to finish, and with an expert stroke managed to hit a birdie. But the rest of us struggled on late into the evening. He therefore earned the honoured nickname, "Tiger Boss" that night.

A few months later at the office party, some colleagues were joking about the recent scandals in the golfing world. The conversation soon turned to the boss’s addiction to golf, and to his roving eye for pretty women. My friend mockingly crooned:

Tiger Boss, please confess
That you love to swing,
All day at the golfing green
Young Birdies are your thing

Unfortunately, his wife was standing right behind us and didn’t find it funny at all. We all turned a bright shade of red, and have not yet had the courage to go near a golf course again.

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